1.

Day One of aunty jean's wake today.
just got home and bathed.
feeling rather exhausted.
i couldnt slp well last night. went offline around 330am.. turned and tossed till around 6am.. and finally fell asleep.. all the way till 9am.
oh wels.
pls let me slp well tonight. need to climb out of bed at 530am.

i dont know how to explain this, but the feeling today was rather surreal.
the last time i felt this kind of emotions was during ahgong's passing away.
and even then, the only time i had to hold back my tears was when i saw the adults crying.
maybe because... i was young (only 12). i didnt know exactly what was happening, and to put it simply, we were more or less prepared to have ahgong leaving us.

today, i kept having surges after surges of emotions.
it's painful to watch a loved one's loved one leave.
and even more painful to have to watch them keeping themselves so strong.
so many times today, i wanted to go up to uncle and hold his hands, to tell him to be strong and take good care of himself.
so many times today, i wanted to give jo a hug.
but i couldnt bring myself to do it.
it would be terrible if i end up making them tear when both of them have been doing such great jobs at being strong.

just glad that i had evan and shannon around today.

see you tmr after school jo, uncle and aunty jean.